Where is Australia?
-- Brendan Behan, 29/11/58.
Our first settlers were chosen by Englands best judges.
All these foreign countries should be abolished.
I am not entirely happy about the shape of the present egg.
I think nuclear power under water will spread like wildfire.
Every American sleeps better in his bed because he knows that if
his country is attacked New Zealand will come to his defence.
If I believed in hell, I should imagine it as one vast gymnasium
with the wicked perpetually engaged in physical training and trying to
I never got any complaints.
We wrote to Jean-Paul Satre over a month ago and he hasn't replied.
We assume that means he's coming.
We will achieve this with every legitimate means - diplomacy, infiltration,
skirmishes, major battles or total war.
The people (of West New Guinea) have to be brought down from the
mountains and the trees, and if they don't come voluntarily, then on the
point of a bayonet.
Who ate my commanding officer?
Every journalist must make his own decision. You must either follow
the official line or you must leave the job and you will be liquidated.
Death is the last of my worries.
Never lend people money, it gives them amnesia.
I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs.
Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car
keys to teenage boys.
While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford
is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson
is making love to your wife.
If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again
be any war.
You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing,
it's air support.
Capital punishment is our societies recognition of the sanctity of
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by
resorting to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics
I think that the undecideds could go one way or the other.
We may be finding that in some blacks, when the choke hold is applied,
the veins or arteries do not open up like in normal people.
Casual drug users should be taken out and shot.
I didn't inhale.
Honest businessmen should be protected from the unscrupulous consumer.
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country.
Who ever heard of Casablanca? I don't want to star opposite
some unknown Swedish broad.
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are
more certain they are their own.
Ward, come upstairs and talk to The Beaver.
I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy. But that could change.
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.
Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat?
My work is done, why wait?
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should
be happier than others.
Bite the wax tadpole.
Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of
something else anyway.
I have no weakness for shoes. I wear very simple shoes which are
pump shoes. It is not one of my weaknesses.
Facts are stupid things.
Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years,
with time off for good behavior?
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
I stand by all the misstatements.
The Desired Swan Song
Swans sing before they die -
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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